Yesterday’s post https://bit.ly/2pDChss, probably got some people thinking…
“Is Brandon ok? He just brought some shit up from like, 20 years ago”.
To which I assure you, I am good, better than good actually.
But I get it, that wasn’t the type of thing that people, especially those who know me well, are used to hearing from me.
I admit, that is my fault. I have never been great about opening up and sharing any emotion other than laughter.
Well, that’s not entirely true. When I was 5 years old my mom would start a bath for me about halfway through “Lassie” because like clockwork, for whatever reason, I would be crying my eyes out at the end of the episode.
I still don’t know why.
It is hard to pinpoint exactly when my ability to show emotion effectively started to fade.
Perhaps it was when my mother became sick and eventually passed away and I took it upon myself to try and be the “tough guy”.
Maybe it was “The Great Mormon Experiment of ‘99” when I left myself exposed and vulnerable.
Realistically it could be any number of things or even a combination of all, I really don’t know.
The only thing that is for sure is that expressing emotion is something that I find very challenging but also something that is worth overcoming.
For instance, yesterday I let my guard down, opened myself up to judgment and ridicule and the response was staggering.
I’m not just talking about the “comments” and “likes” we use as a metric to measure our “Facebook Success” but the text messages and even in-person conversations that followed.
Last night I received a text that said “Man… I just saw that post on FB! Wish I had the words and courage to express myself that way”.
Wait… There are others that feel this way? I’m not alone?
Then this morning when I got to the fields for my daughter’s soccer tournament I had one of the dad’s come up to me and say “hey, great post by the way, I didn’t comment or anything but I feel we are kindred spirits, I have almost the exact same story”.
What! Another one?
Then to top it off, during our last game, another dad told me that he made his high school son read it.
Wow! If I had known opening up and sharing emotions could bring this type of positivity I would have started years ago.
I am still a long way away and definitely don’t expect to change over night but thank you all for reaching out and sharing your story with me. I will remember them as I move forward.